LOOKING FOR LOLS #2

2. Kristen Wiig

THE QUEEN. One of my favourite Saturday Night Live cast members ever. Before I even got into SNL I’d seen Kristen Wiig in countless movies she’s had speaking roles in Forgetting Sarah MarshallAdventurelandGhost Town, Knocked Up, Date Night, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Bridesmaids (of course) and television roles on 30 Rock, Flight of the Conchords and Portlandia. However, I’d never paid much attention to her, as awful as that sounds, for me she always seemed to play such unassuming characters.

When I saw her in all her glory on SNL though, the blindfold was lifted from my eyes. I recognised her for the comedic chameleon she is. Below is a primer of four of my favourite characters of hers:

LOOKING FOR LOLS #1

Whenever you ask anyone about the top three qualities they’d want in their ideal partner it’s more than likely that a good sense of humour will be a quality on that list. And I don’t think it’s a cliché. (Yes, I used the ~accent aigu- above the é there. I have a deep respect for the French.) I’m not any different you’ll find a sense of humour at the top of my own list and I appreciate a good sense of humour deeply and anyone who will riff on a joke with me without hesitation.*

I’m starting a little series on Scattered Flashes where I talk about some of my favourite funny people and this week’s comedian of choice, is the first comedian in my life:

1. Demetri Martin 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/mandeej/8611981836

Demetri Martin is the reason that I first became aware of comedy as a thing that existed. I stumbled across his TV show Important Things With Demetri Martin in my second year of high school during my travels on the internet and was hooked on his humour immediately.

I found his deadpan delivery and use of wordplay, music and sketch fascinating because he was nothing like I thought all comedians were like i.e. loud and crass. Demetri Martin always seemed so intelligent and driven to me (in his special If I he discusses all the weird and wonderful things he’s taught himself to do like ride a unicycle and learn to write with both hands) and in that way I found, and still find, him to be very inspiring. He’s got around three specials, a TV show and two books – all of which I’d recommend checking out. He’s also had small roles in a film or two so you might’ve seen him before! I hope one day I’ll get to see him live but I’m glad that the internet gave me the chance to find out about his work, I won’t say the internet never gave me anything! I can’t explain here how enamoured I was by his sense of humour during high school and how much I admired him.

He’s also had a few podcast appearances and I really enjoyed his spot on Pete Holmes’ You Made It Weird which you can see/hear here.

 

*Let me say, I’m against people having pre-conceived notions about whether someone will be a good partner for them based on a made up list of qualities but it’s a fun little exercise when not taken too seriously.

Teaching is one of the noblest professions

I’ve had some great teachers in my life, I can’t claim that any of them were Dead Poet’s Society levels of inspiring but the majority of them changed my life for the better. A handful of teachers have had such a profound impact on my life but to them I’m just another child in the hundreds, maybe thousands, that they’ll encounter and nurture. They taught me about the world and about myself. Chemistry and calculus, Judaism and Japanese, George Orwell and Geography  -All the things I didn’t realise I’d be proud to know in just a few short years.

I come from a family of teachers and as a child I thought it was such a boring job. Why couldn’t I come from a family of astronauts or race-car drivers? Now I’m older I realise that teachers have a great responsibility, to guide all the future astronauts and race-car drivers. Teacher are tasked with inspiring children to achieve their full potential. Teaching is one of the noblest professions.

If I Stay: THE MOVIE

I like crying over texts and if you feel the same then it’s likely you’ll have a great time watching “If I Stay”. I mostly assess movies on the stories that they tell, I don’t pay an overt amount of attention to soundtracks or lighting or cinematography. Furthermore, with film adaptions of drama/romance novels I don’t come out of the cinema feeling particularly satisfied because I’ll just have watched a story play out that I’ve read before and am already familiar with.

“If I Stay” disarmed me though and I really enjoyed it. Maybe it’s because it’s been two years since I read the novel and so the particulars of it weren’t as clear to me but I thought it was a great teen film. Chloe Grace Möretz is the sweetest thing and so is Jamie Blackley. I found the obvious gap in the ages between the actors a little distracting at first, they played their characters well and I soon forgot about it. I really enjoyed the use of music in the film and appreciate the fact that the creators of the film made the decision to compose songs for the film which Jamie Blackley actually sung. 

Below is a link to one such track:

Midnight In Paris

I found Midnight In Paris (2011) to be such a beautiful, funny and sweet film and I normally don’t get on with Woody Allen.  To Rome With Love was a little boring for me and the touches of magical realism disconcerting whereas in Midnight In Paris I think they worked perfectly.

From the get-go, I loved the movie. The three minutes filled completely with scenes of Paris! Magnifique! Luke Wilson and Rachel McAdams were wonderful at subtly acting out a couple not-quite on the rocks. Furthermore, the portrayal of the great artists and thinkers was WONDERFUL. Ernest Hemmingway and Salvador Dali made me laugh like nobody’s business.

Great cast, great story, great tone.

i’m stuck

my brain is adventurous but my heart is not.

sometimes i dream of seizing all the opportunities but then my anxiety gets the better of me. i turn down the job, the date, the opportunity because i’m too scared of what will happen if i say “yes”. i get caught up in the things that might go wrong or what it’ll mean for my future and all the reasons i should say “no” and so i let the (hypothetical) train pass without boarding.

i recognise that this not the way to live and it’s something i’m trying to work on but it’s a slow process. it’s easy late at night for me to find a new determination to plan out big life changes but in the morning i’ll push all those ideas aside. the day makes late night dreams seem fanciful, ridiculous and impossible.  

i complain about how my life is stagnant but sometimes i think i’m secretly glad for the predictability. when your life is predictable you never have to worry about making mistakes. which is why the idea of actually finishing my studies is terrifying. i like that i can use university as an excuse for putting off life, “oh i’ll travel one day” or “one day, when i’ve finished my degree, i’ll do it”. but i need something more. i need to see new things and meet people so that i don’t wake up one day and realise that my “one day” never came. 

How to Text Potential Lovers

This is an article I wrote for a lifestyle website for women that didn’t end up getting published, so I’ve decided to publish it here for y’all! Better here than sitting in my documents gathering digital dust…

Dating in the 21st century is hard, because the date never really ends. Mobile phones mean that we can remain in constant contact with dates, which can be great for developing relationships but also extremely nerve-racking. As a woman who has matured in the digital age, I’ve compiled a few tips to help you navigate the world of texting.

1. Do not wait three days.

The three-day rule is advice that we’ve heard for a long time, but this rule no longer applies. In a world where texting is the norm, if you wait three days to text someone saying that you enjoyed your date, it can come off a little cold. Instead, feel free to text your date the next day, or even the same night if you really hit it off.   Something simple e.g. “Hi, just wanted to let you know that I had a great time with you and would love to meet up again sometime soon!”

2. Do not stress out.

There is really no need to stress. Texting is opens up a new avenue for flirting and flirting should be fun! Don’t worry about why their replies are being sent every twenty minutes. They’re probably just busy getting on with life, as you should be too! The whole point of texting is that it’s quick and easy, it’s not something that you should fixate on.

3. Do not chase.

Try to avoid sending more than one text at a time. Follow up texts with messages like, “You haven’t replied… Did you get my last text?” are not a technique you want to employ. Put your trust in technology, they probably did get your text.

If he/she doesn’t reply or if their replies are coming in every two days, abort mission! If a person can’t find two minutes to reply to your message, they probably not interested and therefore, not worth your time. It’s important to know when to cut your losses.

4. Do ask questions.

It’s the same with any conversation that you want to continue, be an active member of the discussion. Your texting partner might be nervous about messaging you, asking questions are the ideal way of putting them at ease and making your interest apparent.

5. Do not use too much text speak.

Taking the time to type “you” rather than just using “u” is a way to make clear that you’re a mature, educated adult.

3. Do hold off on the winks. 

You might think they seem fun and flirty but sometimes they can come off a little bit too desperate and/or creepy. Stick to unthreatening smiley faces.

6. Do not drunk text.

Self-explanatory really. Drunken texts do far more damage than good. If you think you might be at risk of doing some damage, give a sober friend your phone to hold on to when you go out drinking.

7. Do proof read!

A lot of things are more irritating than sending an email and realising later that you spelled something wrong, or that you included a sentiment that you regret. Though it’s still pretty irritating. The same goes for texting, before sending just read over your text to make sure that what you send is what you really want to say. Once a text is out there, you can’t get it back.

8. Do be yourself

Texting is a new way for you to express yourself and interact, don’t use it as a way to hide behind a screen and say things you’d be uncomfortable saying in real life.

Armed with these tips, you’re ready to tackle the texting world and hopefully, you can use your texts for good and not evil.