This is an article I wrote for a lifestyle website for women that didn’t end up getting published, so I’ve decided to publish it here for y’all! Better here than sitting in my documents gathering digital dust…
Dating in the 21st century is hard, because the date never really ends. Mobile phones mean that we can remain in constant contact with dates, which can be great for developing relationships but also extremely nerve-racking. As a woman who has matured in the digital age, I’ve compiled a few tips to help you navigate the world of texting.
1. Do not wait three days.
The three-day rule is advice that we’ve heard for a long time, but this rule no longer applies. In a world where texting is the norm, if you wait three days to text someone saying that you enjoyed your date, it can come off a little cold. Instead, feel free to text your date the next day, or even the same night if you really hit it off. Something simple e.g. “Hi, just wanted to let you know that I had a great time with you and would love to meet up again sometime soon!”
2. Do not stress out.
There is really no need to stress. Texting is opens up a new avenue for flirting and flirting should be fun! Don’t worry about why their replies are being sent every twenty minutes. They’re probably just busy getting on with life, as you should be too! The whole point of texting is that it’s quick and easy, it’s not something that you should fixate on.
3. Do not chase.
Try to avoid sending more than one text at a time. Follow up texts with messages like, “You haven’t replied… Did you get my last text?” are not a technique you want to employ. Put your trust in technology, they probably did get your text.
If he/she doesn’t reply or if their replies are coming in every two days, abort mission! If a person can’t find two minutes to reply to your message, they probably not interested and therefore, not worth your time. It’s important to know when to cut your losses.
4. Do ask questions.
It’s the same with any conversation that you want to continue, be an active member of the discussion. Your texting partner might be nervous about messaging you, asking questions are the ideal way of putting them at ease and making your interest apparent.
5. Do not use too much text speak.
Taking the time to type “you” rather than just using “u” is a way to make clear that you’re a mature, educated adult.
3. Do hold off on the winks.
You might think they seem fun and flirty but sometimes they can come off a little bit too desperate and/or creepy. Stick to unthreatening smiley faces.
6. Do not drunk text.
Self-explanatory really. Drunken texts do far more damage than good. If you think you might be at risk of doing some damage, give a sober friend your phone to hold on to when you go out drinking.
7. Do proof read!
A lot of things are more irritating than sending an email and realising later that you spelled something wrong, or that you included a sentiment that you regret. Though it’s still pretty irritating. The same goes for texting, before sending just read over your text to make sure that what you send is what you really want to say. Once a text is out there, you can’t get it back.
8. Do be yourself
Texting is a new way for you to express yourself and interact, don’t use it as a way to hide behind a screen and say things you’d be uncomfortable saying in real life.
Armed with these tips, you’re ready to tackle the texting world and hopefully, you can use your texts for good and not evil.